Mothers of Horror

Since Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and the remake of Charles Kaufman’s Mother’s Day was finally released this week, I thought now is a good time to talk about some of my favorite mothers in horror films.  This is by no means a comprehensive list, just a few who come to mind.  Let’s all take this time to tell these mother’s how much we love and cherish them for the memories they have given us!

In no particular order:

This evil matriach wants to impregnant the babysitter with the damn seed of Satan!  She and her devil-worshipping family trick young Samantha into a babysiting gig that turns into a night of HELL!  hahaha, get it?  CAUSE THEY ARE SATANISTS.   Creepy bitch is portrayed by cult icon Mary Woronov.  Good job, Mary!

Leslie Easterbrook takes over the role of Mother Firefly and makes it her own in the instant classic The Devil’s Rejects.  We know she cares for her family because as the family is under seige by Sheriff John Quincy Wydell and the Ruggsville Sheriff’s Dept, Mother Firefly takes the time out to tell her daughter Vera Ellen/Baby Firefly that she remembers the good times with her daughter.  “Like when you was a fuckin’ bayyyybeee”, Mother Firefly laments in her white trash way.  Defiant to the end, this tough as nails piece of shit bitch ends up biting off more than she can chew when John Quincy Wydell ends up stabbing her to death.  As he tells her, “You.  You’re whole family.  You’re all ghosts just waiting to expire”.

Ok this one is more because it’s a “kind of have to” type deal more than any true affection for this character.  Yeah, she gave birth to Jason, killed some counselors, and a franchise was born.  That’s nice.  I hate to say this but I’m not a big Friday the 13th fan.  I like parts 4 – 7 a lot but I don’t really care for any of the rest.  Anyways, my true childhood memories of this woman though come from fighting her in the NES game, so happy Mother’s Day Pam!

NEXT!

“Someone’s in my fruit cellar!  Someone with a fresh soulllllll!!!!!!!”  Possibly the most standout deadite from the entire series, with the exception of Evil Ash in Army of Darkness, Henrietta is one mean mother!  Poor Annie’s mom is posessed by the evil sprits that dwell in the dark bowers of man’s domain when her husband translates the book of the dead.  Hiding in the fruit cellar, she reveals herself during the last act of the film, and it takes no less than a Bruce Campbell armed with a shotgun and chainsaw hand to carve this witch.

Ok, I’m just being silly now.  But hey, it’s a horror movie, she’s a mom, we’ll count it.  In a sea of odd preformances, somehow, this lady manages to stand out for a few moments when she mentions the fact that her husbands childhood imaginary friend wasn’t his dead grandfather, and when she forces her 12 year old son to “sing that song she really loves so much”.  That song turns out to be “Row Your Boat”.  This lady is whacked out, but lovably so.  So Happy Mother’s Day to her.

I’m reaching a bit with this one.  No, Fran (Gaylen Ross) doesn’t have a kid in this movie, but she -IS- pregnant.  And she survives the movie with Peter, so she’ll be alive for a long time and it’s possible she and Peter had lots of kids together too.  Fran starts off a bit useless but after a close call with a Hare Krishna, she takes matters into her own hands.  She learns two valuable lessons:  how to fly the whirly-bird and shoot a gun.  As the only woman in the group, she tells them she doesn’t plan to play den mother to them all, and this bitch means business.  Possibly the most realistic depction of a woman in a horror movie, Fran rules!  Happy Mother’s Day!   You go girl!

Last but no least….

Woah, mama!  This old hag is off her rocker, and looking for women for her sons Ike and Adley to practice kidnapping and raping so that they can go on a crime spree in Central Park!  Played by Beatrice Pons of Car 54 Where Are You? fame, she brings a classical actress edge to a freakin’ TROMA movie.  Maybe she just needed help eating with the lights on at her age or something, but God bless her for what she has done here.  This is one of the best killer family flicks that came out in the wake of Last House on the Left and Texas Chain Saw Massacre.   She looks like a kindly old lady, but then you see her clicking polariods of her son beating and raping a woman while calling her a bitch and change your mind completely.  One of the most evil, crazed, horror mother of all time, in a movie named for this special holiday.  Let’s all be like Ike and Adley and never forget our mothers!

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