31 (2016)

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Rob Zombie’s latest film, 31, concerns the five unfortunate carnies kidnapped by other carnies and forced to play The Redneck Running Man, er, I mean 31.  It’s namesake is because the “game” takes place on October 31st or something.  Personally, I think the film is called 31 because on average, that’s how many jump cuts there are per minute. Continue reading

Blair Witch (2016)

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Twenty-two years after his sister Heather’s disappearance in the Burkittsville woods, her brother James (James McCune, The Walking Dead) still wants closure.  Spurned on by a viral video that appears to show Heather in the same cabin we last saw her in, he and some friends decide it’d be a good idea to pay the cabin a visit and make a documentary film about it.  Things do not go as planned.  Continue reading

Black Ribbons (2010)

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Remember what the song says ‘don’t let ’em get you down’.  The most important thing is love.  All you know or all you need to know.  Or was that beauty?  What’s the difference?  Love your family, love your neighbor, love your enemy as yourself.  Go on loving, it’s what humans do best and the one thing they can’t kill, got it?  This is Will of The Wisp, the time now is no time, the temperature is cold, the news is blue. For now, the light still shines.

So begins the last broadcast of talk radio DJ Will o’ Wisp (played and partially written by Stephen King) on the night before the US Government shuts down all outlets of free speech.  Will’s last night is filled with diatribes against the current situation mixed with a hopefulness that maybe things will change (while admitting such hope is helped with a bottle of Jack Daniels), while playing the band from the discography of the fictional band Hierophant.  Continue reading

Baskin (2015)

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Baskin is a Turkish horror film about a group of hard-edged police officers who find themselves up the fecal creek with out a paddle as they investigate a house full of primitive cultists.  But before they get there, we have to watch them have conversations and have misadventures for an hour and some change.  It’s up to the viewer as to if this is worth the pay off.  Continue reading

I saw Phantasm Remastered at Chicago’s Flashback Weekend.

Flashback Weekend is a yearly horror convention held in Chicago.  For the past couple years I’ve been meaning to go, but circumstances conspired against me.  This year, my fiancee and I made it down there for the 2016 outing — Flashback’s fourteenth year of operation. Our plans were originally just to catch the screening of Phantasm Remastered.  That changed when we inadvertently booked our hotel at the Rosemont, the same hotel where Flashback Weekend was taking place.     Continue reading

V/H/S: Viral (2014)

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The third and final entry in the V/H/S franchise, Viral, is the most ambitious in scope; though slightly undercut by it’s budget.  The entire series has been divisive among horror fans, but the general consensus is that Viral is awful.  This word of mouth is why I put off watching it for the past couple years, which is odd, because I really liked the first two V/H/S films a lot.  At about ten minutes into Viral, I was hooked, and chalked the negative reviews up to typical internet backlash. Continue reading

The Savage South Rises Again: The Loved Ones (2009)

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I’m bending the rules here on what counts as southern horror by expanding it to the land down under (so you better run, you better take cover).  The Loved Ones is a dark comedy/horror about a troubled young man named Brent.  Reeling from the loss of his father during an auto-accident, he’s on the verge of self-destruction.  His classmate Lola asks him to the prom, but is denied.  Brent is currently involved with someone else and this does not sit well with the obsessive Lola, who along with her father, kidnap Brent and submit him to a night of terror in order to make him become one of her “loved ones”. Continue reading