When I was seven or eight years old I saw a movie that would forever change my life. That movie was “Deathstalker 2”. A very silly and campy movie about an anti-heroic swashbuckler/swindler, who much like Lil Wayne was just looking to get laid and gets monies, but is different from Lil Wayne in that Deathstalker is actually a tolerable person to be around for at least 80 minutes.
I rented the movie based on the cover art (the 80’s – late 90’s video era are infamous for cover art that usually exceeds the quality of the film contained therein). Unlike “Leonard 6”, there was actually a “Deathstalker 1”, but it was a cheap Conan rip-off (one of many) that took itself way too seriously and was more interested in being a soft core porno than anything else. Not that there is anything wrong with that, if that’s what you want. One could make the argument that Deathstalker 2 is also a soft core porn (especially given the actress referenced in the title of this post) but they would be wrong. I am not even going to try to say this is a good movie, that would be erroneous, and honestly besides the point. The film KNOWS it is bad, and REVEALS in it. A must for all lovers of 80’s exploitation/camp classics to see, if they haven’t already.
What sealed the deal for me though, is the beautiful Monique Gabrielle, who looked so beautiful as the waifish expelled princess.
I fell in love with this girl in first grade. She was the first woman I saw topless in a movie. It was the most wonderful thing my young eyes had ever seen at the time! She was sex on two legs, sensuality at it’s most innocent and pure. I learned a lot from this woman. There is a part where Deathstalker saves her from falling into a boiling kettle (don’t ask) and is laying on the ground next to her. She tries to seduce him, but he says he is not willing. She tells him “The top half of your body is saying “no”, but the bottom half is definitely saying “YES!””. HA! She’s talking about his penis getting erect! I had been wondering what was up (haha) when mine did that! I knew now!
Monique played in a few other camp movies, namely “Amazon Women on the Moon” as the Playmate video model who goes everywhere naked (including church).
Linnea Quigley, another 80’s starlet overshadowed Monique in fame due to her legendary character of “Trash” in “Return of the Living Dead” and a few other 80s hits. But for my money she is no Monique Gabrielle. Not no way, not no how!
You can all keep your Megan Fox’s and whatever generic pieces of bland trash Hollywood totes out to you these days. Women from the 80’s were cute and sexy, usually appearing nude (unlike the bland Fox), and STILL managed to ooze more class and personality than lil Ms. Cocktease herself will ever be able to muster, not matter how far up her ass Micheal Bay shoves his camera.
Here’s to you, Monique Gabrille, awakener of my perversions, dream woman of my youth!
Leave a comment
No comments yet.