Chaos (2005)

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At least that is Angelica on the poster.

Not that this really matters, but this is an old review I wrote for another site a few years ago upon the DVD’s release that I’m just now porting over.

Is this the most brutal movie ever made? The most blatant rip-off ever? A modern day horror masterpiece? I hope to examine these claims in what I would like to call THE MOST BRUTAL MOVIE REVIEW EVER. With my other reviews (with the exception of Terror Toons it has been my intention to have others seek the films out as they have some merit behind them. The exact opposite is true of this review.

For the first part of this review I’m not going to go into anything other than the film itself. And I’m going to spoil the whole damn movie but it’s really not worth watching anyhow so there is no reason for you not to read this review. For those of you who don’t know, this is a rape/revenge movie done by highly impressionable failed pro-wrestler David “The Demon” DeFalco, which he self-proclaims as “the most brutal movie ever”. I must admit that Chaos is a very fucked up movie, but certainly not the most brutal ever. Of course, if DeFalco called it “A Very Brutal Movie” it just wouldn’t have the same ring to it.

The movie starts with a text crawl informing us that Chaos is a “cautionary tale” based on “true events”. On the commentary track for the film we learn that the cautionary tale bit was an afterthought put on because the film was so “brutal” that people could learn from it. Whatever, David.

A girl eating xtc for breakfast.

The film then starts off as we see a rather homely lady on the road trying to hitch a ride. A couple of stereotypical backwoods horny hicks try to abduct and rape her. However, they are stopped by a couple of do-gooders (actually the villains of the film) who proceed to use obviously fake kicks and punches to beat them and then trash their car with a baseball bat. Since this is the prelude to the film you would think you are going to watch something hokey, cheap, and fake looking from all involved. However, that is surprisingly not the case from the two victims we are now introduced to. They are Emily and Angelica, who are going to a rave despite protests from Emily’s inter-racial parents. They go to the woods, and are early for the rave. It’s like 4 in the afternoon, and raves take place at night, so they decide to kill the time by going to score some ecstasy pills. The baddies, we find out, have stationed Chaos’s son Swan (why not “Ajax”?) at the rave to score some the gang some chicks. This character is played by Sylvester (Demolition Man) Stallone’s son, Sage Stallone. He is not as in shape as his father. He talks to the girls into coming back with him to the cabin where the baddies are hiding saying that is where he has the drugs located. The girls, being dumb, decide to go with him instead of telling him to go get the drugs and bring them back. At the cabin, this is where the film goes down into depravity, which is it’s ultimate aim. From here on in, the girls are abducted, beaten, raped, and killed. Emily’s over-protective parents get scared that they haven’t heard from their daughter by 6 o’clock, and they try to call her. Emily doesn’t answer because she fell down a hill into a pile of leaves and got knocked out. So off the parents trot to the rave to find them. They are able somehow to stumble upon the dead body of Angelica. The parents go home to call the police and unfortunately for them, the killers come over to their house as well seeking a ride into town. The parents figure out they are the killers of their child and plan revenge. Does this plot seem vaguely familiar? Kinda like this poster? Hmmmm….

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The killers, however, decide that the parents are up to something, and so we have the most “brutal” showdown in cinema history, baby. Well, not really, as this is actually this is the worst part of the movie. There is a chainsaw brought out by Pops to cut up Chaos and family. The parents have the bad guys down, and the dad is getting ready to send Chaos back to Hell, but the police bust in, and shoot Emily’s father in the head. Then the mom shoots the cop who shoot her husband, then Chaos shoots the other cop and then the mom. It’s a very funny and unbelievable scene that is far-fetched and campy that is set-up simply to let Chaos win. See, it’s symbolic! His name is “Chaos”, and he represents “chaos”!!!! It’s GENIUS!!!!

The girls, Angelica (Maya Barovich) and Emily (Chantal Degroat).

Ok, now to get to the brutality. There is no real gore in the film, it’s rather the emotional abuse of Emily and Angelica that makes the film so “brutal”. It’s to the credit of both the actresses who play them that they carry it off well. It could also help that one of the actresses had been raped before, so it is in good taste to have her relieve her ordeal for the most brutal movie ever. The worst scene is when one of the girls is sodomized by a knife in a scene that goes on for far too long.

The bad guys are good in their roles. Kevin (Waingro from “Heat” and Counselor #2 from “SpaceCamp”) Gage as Chaos is a very intimidating person. He’s an alpha-male psychopath, very strong and powerful. Here though, I don’t think he is totally believable as a serial killer. He’s no David Hess. He is, however, competent in the role. This movie feels like an old-school 80s horror flick, and if it wasn’t for the mention of cellphones or one of the characters saying the year is 2002, you might think that it’s from a bygone era of things like Silent Night, Deadly Night. It has that downbeat sleazy feel to it and one could see Britain putting this on the Video Nasty list. Sage Stallone looks rather embarrassed to be in the movie and you really can’t blame him. He doesn’t have much to work with in his carbon copy role of Junior Stillo from Last House on the Left. Since Sage Stallone is one of the masterminds behind Grindhouse Releasing though so I will let him get a pass since he brought us Lucio Fulci’s “The Beyond” restored and un-cut to U.S. shores.

Unfortunately, all good points of this film are going to be ignored by most due to the antics of director David DeFalco telling people that he is a demon and challenging critics and fans to fight him. He’s like a cross between a shock-rocker and pro-wrestler, but at least we have confidence that the majority of both those groups know they are putting on an act. With DeFalco though, that isn’t the case, as judging from the extras on the DVD. In one of the most bizarre extras on a DVD ever, we have him cutting a wrestling promo inside the L.A. County Corners office. I don’t know why he felt this would be a good idea. The feature starts off with the camera following behind a shirtless DeFalco as he opens the doors to the crypt, while sporting the most brutal rat-tail ever. Dave then goes off on a tirade of how he is “The Demon” and how this is the first time a filmmaker has been interviewed in a coroners office. There is a reason that filmmakers don’t go around getting interviewed in coroners offices and it’s because they have the common sense to know it’s not a good idea. Most directors want to be taken seriously. The Demon continues his promo informing us that this is “his reality”. That there are “homicides, suicides, and auto-accidents”, and that we are entering “the demon’s playground”. Now I didn’t realize this, but apparently nobody in the world dies from natural causes anymore, so to make a film where people have fun and live good lives is ridiculous because it’s fake. The only reality is that we are all going to one day be raped and murdered, and therefore Chaos is a very important film because The Demon made it and not only is it the first step in the “succession of evil”, but it’s the first step in the “progression of evil”. This might be a pretty interesting feature if The Demon had not been in it, as it shows the daily grind of a coroner. He tells us on average the L.A. Coroner’s Office has 10,000 bodies a year. “10,000 bodies a year, baby!”, The Demon explains happily. Evidently he thinks that 10,000 people dying a year has something to do with him making “Chaos”. We learn that none of this is about showing the L.A. Coroner’s office at all about midway through when The Demon and the coroner shake hands. This whole thing is a sick self-promotion for The Demon’s next movie in the progression and succession of evil in which the coroner, Cormier, tells us that he has a theory that people who do too much methamphetamine open up the doors for demons to come and possess their soul, which gives this reviewer the impression that for DeFalco it will be an autobiographical film. The commentary track is interesting. You get to learn that star David Gage is indicted for drug charges and one of the producers murdered his wife. DeFalco thinks that’s cool because it shows how evil and brutal his film is. They are very self-congratulatory about all this “brutality” and very careful to not mention Last House on the Left. They do say that the murders of the girls are based on some serial killer guy, which goes to show that they can’t even make up original deaths. They go on to say that the serial killer has since been executed, which is sad, because he would probably sue them for plagiarism. Chaos is not a remake; to be a remake it would have to be acknowledged for what it is by the people behind it. Without Last House on the Left, there would be no Chaos. So in a roundabout way you can blame the superior film for it’s unofficial knock-off. Also, remakes generally add something new or put a new twist on things. Chaos doesn’t do either. What it does do is get the tone right. You want a hard edged horror film? Chaos delivers. Whether or not you can get past the controversy regarding DeFalco’s antics and his denial of it being the bastardization of Last House on the Left will go a long ways as to how you will take to the film. It’s nothing more than what it sets out to be, but it’s not as grandiose as DeFalco proclaims. It’s a disturbing and fucked up film in the basest way possible. It’s up front and vulgar, pulling no punches. There is nothing more than that there though. Seriously the whole message is “this is some fucked up shit”. Chaos is not a horribly made film nor horribly acted. It’s just very immature and twenty years too late. At least it’s only 70 minutes long.

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